“Combining professional insight with actionable advice… a comprehensive resource on cultivating children’s emotional health.” —Publishers Weekly

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Contact Victoria Heilmann at  vfinley@wiley.com‍ ‍

A psychiatrist-parent's guide to understanding your emotions and raising resilient children

Nearly one in five children has a behavioral or mental health diagnosis, and 40% of mothers miss their postpartum visit, along with critical screening. Carry My Strength: A Parent's Guide to Growing and Thriving Alongside Your Child, written by double board-certified child and adult psychiatrist Debbie Raphael, M.D., decodes the hidden psychological forces shaping early parenthood, helping parents understand their own emotional patterns and build stronger connections with their children.

Through vivid vignettes from her own first years as a mother―documented while simultaneously training in child psychiatry―Raphael translates clinical concepts like reflective functioning, secure attachment, mentalization, and distress tolerance into relatable, actionable guidance. Parents learn how their internal histories and stress responses shape their child's developing mind, and how to interrupt intergenerational cycles of trauma while cultivating resilience and emotional regulation.

Written for new and expecting parents―particularly those navigating early life adversity, trauma histories, or postpartum emotional challenges―Carry My Strength is equally valuable for pediatricians, therapists, doulas, and early educators who support families through the demanding, formative years of early parenthood.

“I’m hopeful that carrying it with you will grant you a similar type of strength—as a transitional object during a relentlessly transformational time in life.”

“I was not perfect.  I made changes where needed.  I listened to him.  And I was good enough.”

“We live in strange times: both our science and the wisdom of ages tells us that ‘children are our future’ – yet we do such a terrible job helping young parents as they struggle with the overwhelming, exhausting, sometimes confusing early years of caregiving. Dr. Debbie Raphael’s book, Carry My Strength, is a lighthouse for young parents. Offering reassurance with honesty, compassion and wisdom she teaches about the importance of stress, resilience, attachment and how crucial it is to embrace – and celebrate - the inevitable imperfections of parenting.”

‍ ‍—BRUCE D. PERRY, M.D., Ph.D., #1 New York Times bestselling author of What Happened to You? with Oprah Winfrey

—SHOSHANA S. BENNETT, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist, Perinatal Mental Health Certified Consultant, Past President, Postpartum Support International, Author, Postpartum Depression for Dummies, Children of the Depressed, and Co-author, Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

“Carry My Strength weaves a child psychiatrist's honest stories of raising her own children with the best of current relational science. It is a reflective, evidence-grounded guide to parenting as a relationship: essential reading for parents, pediatricians, and everyone who supports young children and families.”

—DAVID W. WILLIS, M.D., F.A.A.P.,  Founder and Director, Nurture Connection, at the Thrive Center for Children, Youth and Families, Georgetown University. 

"All parents and grandparents should read this remarkable book. Even though my son is now an adult, it is one of my ongoing life goals to become a more attuned parent. Dr. Raphael's book, Carry My Strength, will help you do just that!"

—LOUANN BRIZENDINE, M.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain, The Male Brain, and Your Brain on Menopause

“In Carry My Strength, Dr. Debbie Raphael offers a touching and deeply personal, insightful, and professionally informed guide to parenthood. This book aims to bridge the gap between academic understanding and lived reality, making psychological concepts accessible to all parents. It also offers reassurance and empowers parents to embrace their imperfections, find strength in community, and foster loving connections with their children.”

“Decades of research support what this book teaches: Children thrive not with perfect parenting, but with secure attachment, attuned listening, and consistent repair after rupture. Carry My Strength translates that evidence into practical guidance from a highly experienced child and adolescent psychiatrist. I will be recommending it to the families in my practice.”

—FELICIA TORNABENE, M.D., F.A.C.H.E., Physician Executive

—NICOLE B. HIGHT, M.D., Pediatrician and author of YOU Are Made For This!: Seven Steps to Help Every Kid Find Their Calling.  

“Some books teach you how to parent. Carry My Strength does something more rare: it gives you permission. Permission to find parenting and motherhood hard, to not know what you're doing yet, to lose your patience before a trip to the park and say sorry afterward. Dr. Debbie Raphael writes with the authority of a psychiatrist and the honesty of a mother who learned on the job. "It is okay that everything is not always okay" is a line I wish someone had said to me sooner, and one every mom needs to hear.”

—ALEXA STARKS, CEO and Founder of Mothered Media

“Having a child transforms every part of us, yet so few books explore the profound inner changes that come with raising one. In Carry My Strength, Dr. Debbie Raphael draws on her rare perspective as both a child psychiatrist and a mother to illuminate the joy, doubt, and profound vulnerability of raising a child. Warm and deeply reassuring, this book releases parents from unrealistic goals of perfect parenting and helps them trust that love and affection go a long way in getting it right.”

—JENNIFER WALLACE, New York Times bestselling author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It. 

“Like a warm, supportive hug, Dr. Raphael’s book offers new parents an invaluable guide not only to succeed in their new role but also to enjoy it.”

—MICHAELEEN DOUCLEFF, Ph.D., New York Times best selling author of Hunt, Gather, Parent and Dopamine Kids

“Carry My Strength is a gift for all new parents whose lives are forever changed by the profound experience of parenthood. Dr. Raphael has done a masterful job of blending her training as a board certified child psychiatrist with her own experience of motherhood in an accessible, personal, and easily digestible way. Packed with scholarly and personal wisdom, this book is a compassionate and expert guide about being human while raising one.”

—DAN PETERS, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist/ Executive Director, Summit Center, Co-author, Bright, Complex Kids: Supporting Their Social and Emotional Development, Podcast Host - Make It a Great One with Dr. Dan

“I loved reading this book. Written with both professional expertise and deeply personal insight, Carry My Strength offers parents compassionate, practical guidance while remaining refreshingly humble about the realities of raising a child. Dr. Raphael recognizes that parenting is not a fixed roadmap, but an evolving journey, one that may follow many different routes toward the shared goal of raising connected, resilient, and emotionally healthy children.”

—MARIA MUZIK, MD, MSc, Professor of Psychiatry and Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Co-director of Zero to Thrive & Strong Roots Programs and Medical Director of Perinatal & Reproductive Psychiatry at Michigan Medicine, and Co-editor of Motherhood in the Face of Trauma: Pathways Towards Healing and Growth

“Carry My Strength is a thoughtful and deeply compassionate look at the emotional realities of becoming a parent. Drawing on both her expertise as a psychiatrist and her lived experience as a mother, Dr. Debbie Raphael offers powerful insights about attachment, resilience, and the everyday moments that shape family relationships. This book is a reassuring companion for parents navigating the beautiful, messy, and transformative journey of raising a child.”

–WHITNEY CASARES, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., Author of Raising Body-Confident Kids

“A joyful, compassionate, and practical guide for parents everywhere, written with authenticity and clarity by a leading clinician who clearly knows their field. I learned much reading it, both as a professional and, moreover, as a father.”

–PROFESSOR DEREK TRACY, Chief Medical Officer, the Maudsley Hospital, London